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Date without your ego getting in the way

Have you ever been in a relationship, only to find that you and your partner nit-pick each other on a regular basis? If this is the case, you likely both were acting out of ego. 

Be sure that you do not let your ego rule your behavior when it comes to interacting with your new dates. Be as open-minded as possible, so that you can see the other person and their motives clearly. This also is true when it comes to your friendships and your relationships with your family members and other people in your life. When you are mindful of your interactions, you can build healthy relationships. 

Decision making through the ego

Some people use their egos in order to help them make decisions when it concerns the people they are attracted to. When someone is acting out of ego, insecurities and negative behaviors can crop up. 

A way to turn this around is to ask yourself insightful questions as to why you are making a certain decision - question any negative feelings that arise. If you can see why you're behaving in a particular way, you can change that behaviour, and this will help your dating experience run more smoothly. 

Making judgments

Do you tend to be judgmental with new partners? Sometimes, it's unavoidable - everyone judges people on first sight, whether we like to admit it or not. However, when it extends into criticizing habits, the way they communicate, or some little quirk, it is a sure sign that you are letting your ego get the best of you - and it's a sure sign you won't be getting a second date!

Instead, let yourself focus on the parts of your date that you find interesting - maybe you share a hobby or favorite TV show. If those problem areas are just too big for you to ignore, say goodbye, chalk it up to experience and keep persevering with dating until you find someone who's right for you.

Being yourself

At the root of many behaviors controlled by the ego is insecurity in yourself. When you are strong in feeling your self-worth, you will be content with completely being yourself in any relationship that you enter and give that love out to the other person. 

It's important to remember that, even if you're unsure of yourself as you head into a date, that the person you're seeing chose you for a reason. They're interested in you and attracted to you, or else they wouldn't have agreed to the date! Try and keep these positive thoughts in mind so that you can be your honest self, rather than presenting an ego-based version of you.

Be sure to check out the BYBER to begin on the next step of your dating journey. Your new love interest may be just around the corner!

BYBER Team πŸ˜‰

Photo: Date by sarah jcb licensed under Creative commons 4

Why you should embrace radical honesty while dating

We are all looking for connections amidst the gut-wrenching shallow conversations we tolerate from strangers from time to time. We are all looking for a spark that will invite us to be loved and cared for. Arguably, to be loved is to be vulnerable, and vulnerability is the highest form of freedom.

On the other side of inconsequential generic personalities we adopt, that appeal to the vast majority is radical honesty. Reiterating how important it is to be yourself at all times necessary. From the information on your profile to the conversations you initiate sitting across a date you met on BYBER, honesty is essential in founding a healthy relationship. 

This blog will highlight why you should be courageous and try out the philosophy of radical honesty on your next first date. 

Genuine connections

Finding a mate is about finding something that fundamentally resonates between two people, like similar life goals or a favorite band. Subscribing to societal constructs, such as facades, impede two people from genuinely connecting. Masquerading as someone you are not is not only exhausting but also retrogressive. 

Be as frank and open from the get-go. Speak your truths as far as possible without shame, and believe it or not, someone who appreciates the candor and shares the same interests will come looking. 

Compatibility

To truly mitigate whether an individual is compatible with you lies in specificity. Radical honesty allows you to be as accurate as possible about issues. Delving deep into your passions and interests will tell you whether your date values these things as well or whether they added it to their profile to illicit matches. Speak freely, and divulge as much relevant information to gauge whether you and your date are truly compatible. Talk about matters you care about, but also listen to your date to find out what they value as well. 

It's all up from there

Radical honesty fosters a strong foundation for a budding relationship. Honesty creates trust between two individuals that enables a relationship to thrive. Forget that your partner knows your secrets and flaws - they are supposed to! And if they still want to spend time with you after all that they know, you can consider yourself among the many BYBER success stories.

BYBER Team πŸ˜‰

Photo: first date. by Ricky Flores licensed under Creative commons 4

The best and worst date venues

When it comes to the first few dates, you are going to want to talk more than anything else. This is why you should really consider how conducive to conversation your date spot really is. Here are some of the best and worst venues for those first few dates.

Worst places for a date

The movies

The movies are probably the worst place you can plan a first date. You are only going to be able to talk in the lobby or if you plan to go somewhere else, which is unlikely if it is the first date. You can't talk during the movie and it can be uncomfortable watching a movie with someone you don't know.

A concert

Going to a concert is the second worst way to spend a date when you are trying to get to know someone. You or the other person may not like the music, and concerts are usually loud and crowded. It isn't the best place to take someone you are trying to get to know better.

Best date ideas

Coffee shop

The coffee shop is probably the best date idea. You can go anytime of the night or day, and you can talk as little or as much as you like. There won't be a big tab, and you don't have to sit through a meal if you don't want to hang out. You can drink your coffee or tea and politely excuse yourself if you aren't feeling a connection with the person.

Walk in the park

A walk in the park is a great way to get to know someone without distraction or financial obligations. You can spend as little or as much time together as you like and really have the ability to have a meaningful and productive conversation. If you enjoy their company, you can always arrange a dinner date afterward.

It is important to carefully consider your initial interactions with people. If you choose the wrong place you may not really get to know the person, or you can scare them off. Choose options which are comfortable for both parties and allow you to talk freely. If you are ready to get out there and meet that special someone, check out BYBER or visit byber.co and start your search today.

BYBER Team πŸ˜‰

Photo: la mill by o0karen0o licensed under Creative commons 4

Keep communication open on those first few dates

When you begin new relationships, it's always a good idea to keep communication open and flowing. No one wants a date that will be full of awkward silences. When there is a lot of silence, neither of you will be able to get to know the other. To keep the conversation going, there are a few guidelines to keep in mind.

Ask open-ended questions

One of the secrets to good communication skills is to ask plenty of questions. Most people are happy to talk about themselves, and asking questions shows that you have an interest in the other person. It also allows you to get to know that person more quickly. When you do ask questions, be careful not to ask questions that can be answered with a yes or no. Instead of asking whether someone likes movies, ask about their top three favorites. 

Responding back

Engaging in conversation is more than just talking. You also have to listen intently and react to what your date said. Asking plenty of questions doesn't mean that you don't talk at all. Each of your questions are just openings to new conversations. Once your date has begun talking and has answered a question, talk about your own answer to the query. Once you've both engaged in the conversation, you can ask another question to keep it going. 

Always listen

Talking is only half of having a good conversation. The other half is listening. When dating, always listen to what your date says. If you're asking questions just to make a good impression, that will be obvious when you can't remember what was said just a few minutes ago. Everyone wants to be listened to, and your date specifically wants to be listened to by you. 

When you arrange a date with someone you've met on the BYBER app, good communication is the key to building a new relationship. A combination of talking and listening is a strong foundation for the relationship you will build together. When your date flows well and you both get to know each other better, you might just get that next date.

BYBER Team πŸ˜‰

Photo: Conversation by Alex Holyoake licensed under Creative commons 4

Why lunch is one of the best first dates

When is the last time you took a date out to dinner? Chances are, virtually all of your first dates have gone this way. However, there's no reason that dinner has to be your first date of choice. Here's why lunch may be a better option. 

It's a More Casual Meal

There are few things that can make our hearts race with nervousness like a first date, but it doesn't have to be that way. One way to avoid feeling tense is to have lunch instead of getting dressed up and going to dinner. Lunch is always more casual, even if the restaurant is a nice one. Some of the pressure will be off because of the casual environment and clothing involved, and you can relax and be yourself.

It's Easier to Talk

Going out to a club can be a fun place to have your first date, but there are definitely a few downsides. When you're attempting to get to know someone, trying to hear each other through the sounds of the local nightlife might not be the best option. A lunch date gives you plenty of opportunities to talk and listen to each other. And because there's a meal involved, there's plenty to talk about. Conversation about the meal, the restaurant, your favorite local spots, etc. can all keep the conversation flowing. 

It's a Small Part of Your Day

Some dates work out, and others don't. If you have lunch with someone that you don't click with, you still have time to use your Byber app to find someone else who might be a better fit for you. If you find that your lunch date is relationship material, there is plenty of time left to go somewhere after lunch to keep spending time together. When you start with lunch, the rest of the day is flexible. 

Lunch Dates Can Happen on Any Day

If you're looking forward to your first date with someone, it's easier to arrange a lunch date. You don't even have to wait for a weekend when you can take your lunch breaks together for your date. 

Between the convenience and the casual nature of a lunch, this first-date option is a great way to get to know someone. When you find a great Byber match, this laid-back date idea may be a fun way to start a new relationship.

BYBER Team πŸ˜‰

Photo: lunch by Sole Treadmill licensed under Creative commons 4

Great topics of conversation for a first date

Everyone wants a date to have plenty of uncomfortable silences, right? Oh, wait - no one wants that. Part of your job on a date is to ensure that conversation flows so that you can each get to know each other. It can be instinctive to fill any silence or potential silence with plenty of talk about yourself. However, that's likely to bore your date. If you wouldn't like to go on a date on to listen to someone talk about themselves throughout it, chances are that your date wouldn't either.

Ask personal questions - but not too personal

One of the best ways to keep the conversation going is to ask your date about themselves. Once your date answers with a little conversation about the answer, you can give your own answer to this question. This keeps any awkward silences from building, and it helps you each get to know what you have in common. Just be sure that you don't ask questions that are very private or simply inappropriate to ask someone that you do not know well. 

Local questions

One of the safest questions to ask is about the local places your date likes to spend time. Do they like to go to local parks? Is there a great retail store that they like best? Have they tried the new restaurant downtown? Which bars are best in the area? All of these questions are great to ask because they help you get to know what your date likes to do, and they provide great openings for asking for another date. 

Talk about food

These days, everyone loves to talk food. Discussing recipes, interesting diets like paleo or vegan and talking about the hottest restaurants are always great icebreakers. You may find out that your date likes to cook or that you both like a popular new restaurant. 

Entertainment

We're living in a golden age of television, and that's what everyone talks about at the water cooler. So much TV content is available that virtually anyone has a slew of shows they just love to talk about. Ask questions about your favorite shows, what they thought of the last episode or whether they prefer to watch each week or binge on Netflix at the end of the season. You'll rarely have a quiet moment when you bring these conversations into your nightlife.

Using the BYBER dating app, you can meet singles who are waiting to have these discussions with you. Get to know them through messaging, and then get out there and start dating.

BYBER Team πŸ˜‰

Things to keep in mind when dating

In the world of dating, one needs to be prepared for many interactions that may not be exactly what you were hoping for. That is part of dating, so it is important to have realistic expectations when you begin your search for Mr. or Ms. Right. 

Chatting online

There are a few simple things to keep in mind when you message potential dates online. First, be careful not to give too much information about yourself even if things seem to be going well. Also, you want to avoid excessive flirting. It can be a turnoff for many people who are also searching for a serious relationship. They may think you are not interested in finding a real, lasting relationship, but rather a physical encounter. 

The first date

The first date can be stressful for many people. You can get a general idea about whether or not you have a connection with that person. For this reason, you should be conscious of how you present yourself and what you tell the other person. Don't expect to have an instant attraction when you go on your first date. You may need to get comfortable with the person first before you can determine if you would like to spend more time with them. Let them know enough about you to either eliminate them altogether or hold their interest for a second date. Second dates are great for exploring details about one another.

Compromise

You may have envisioned what the perfect partner might be, but it is important to realize that the perfect partner may not be exactly what you have envisioned. Keep an open mind when dating and take chances on dates with people you would not normally consider your type. You might be pleasantly surprised if you keep realistic expectations and take chances.

Dating can be complex and intimidate for many. Just keep in mind that there is plenty of trial and error in the world of dating, but you can increase your odds of finding the right person if you have an open mind and entertain the idea of talking to people you would not normally consider. Join BYBER today to start your dating journey.

BYBER Team πŸ˜‰

Why non-committal dating is your new secret weapon

As the year shifts from summer into fall, and then from fall into winter, people start getting together. There's something about autumn that brings people together. Think about it – fall bonfires are a hallowed tradition, and hanging on to the last vestiges of summer when it's actually pretty cold out is a great excuse to snuggle up to someone %28bonus points if you're both in fuzzy flannel and/or fleece!%29. Haunted houses are a thing, and sharing a spooky bonding moment with someone gives you something to chat about over spiced punch and mulled wine. It's a season to reflect on the year, focus on relationships and thankfulness, and it naturally brings people together. 

Don't feel pressured into dating

Even habitually single people often find themselves looking around at happy couples holding pumpkin spice lattes. But just because it seems like everyone is coupling up around you doesn't mean you have to choose between feeling bitter and left out or dating someone you don’t care about. Obviously, neither of these options are great. 

In the age of hookups and friends with benefits, the word "dating" often seems, well, spooky. It connotes a serious relationship, one that's exclusive and progressing towards some ultimate end goal. Every person you date falls into one of two categories: either you'll break up with that person, or you'll marry them. But there is a "secret" third option! 

Dating noncommittally

You can go on "a date" without any expectation of interaction beyond that first encounter. Think of it like social networking, in person. Agree to coffee or dinner with someone, just to get to know them better. Don’t worry about a second date, or a third. Don't try to impress. Instead, just try and forge a connection with the person sitting across the table from you. What makes them tick? What can you learn from them? 

Without the pressure of finding "the one" or worrying you'll accidentally sign a six-month contract just by agreeing to dinner, dating becomes exciting, not stressful. By focusing on human connection rather than an endgame, you'll meet all sorts of cool people that you wouldn’t have if all you were looking for was a romantic partner. Besides, the first step to finding a romantic partner is getting to know someone. 

Download BYBER today to connect with both new and old friends in an exciting and fun way!

BYBER Team πŸ˜‰

Photo: Coffee Date by thevelvetbird licensed under Creative commons 4

How to let them down easy

In the world of dating, there are going to be times when you need to let someone know you aren't interested in them. This can be quite awkward and you may not know exactly how to let them down gently. Stick to a few basics and remember to be honest with them. If you learn how to deliver the news with tact, it will become easier in the future.

Not a match

OK, so you went on the first date and you were, well, underwhelmed. What do you do once you realize that you don't have a connection? This really depends on the situation at hand. If you make it to the destination and you really clash, you should politely let them know that there isn't chemistry and excuse yourself. Remember to maintain a friendly demeanor, even if they become agitated. If you want to finish the date without excusing yourself early, just remember to politely let them know that although you had a great time, you just don't think there was any real spark. They will usually appreciate your honesty. This also saves both of you the time and energy required to break the news at a later date. Say what you have to say, but consider their feelings and show respect.

Dealing with difficult dates

If you have a difficult date, you want to ensure you have a plan to get out of the situation safely. Have a friend you can call to "rescue" you by calling you away for some reason, or showing up unexpectedly. If your date becomes intoxicated, call a cab or a friend to come get you. Never ride with them anywhere after they have had a couple of drinks. When things just aren't working out for whatever reason, just remember to let them down easy to diffuse any potential situations and avoid any arguments. Difficult dates happen; it is necessary to be prepared to deal with them and get away from the situation. Always use your best judgment and remain prepared. Most importantly, don't let a bad date deter you. There are other great people out there that you will have a fun on a date with and not have to make an escape from.

If you are looking for that special someone to spend time with, check out the Byber app.

BYBER Team πŸ˜‰

Photo: 74 - Date Night! by Jason Lander licensed under Creative commons 4

Why bars are actually great first date locations

Bars get a bad rep in the dating world. Even if it's true, many people don't like saying that they met their significant other in a bar. They might fear that others will think they were drunk, or lonely, or that they don't have a network of friends to set them up. Or perhaps they want a better story – something like "We met when he complimented my umbrella – and then I realized he was the designer!" 

But bars are actually fantastic places to meet people for first dates. Read on to find out why! 

A relaxed, informal atmosphere

Firstly, and most obviously, it's no secret that a drink or two will loosen you up and make you more chatty, open, and friendly. Too many drinks, of course, is a no-go, but having a couple will help you to shake off those first date nerves. 

A shared experience

Secondly, bars usually have a lot going on. From showy bartenders to live music, there's something to watch. Sharing an experience with someone is a great way to get to know them. Plus, having something to talk about that's new to both of you and happening right in front of your eyes is a great way to dispel that first date interview talk. Nothing kills a connection faster than going back and forth asking "So do you have any siblings?" 

Learn more about their personality

By meeting at a bar, you'll get a chance to know someone in a different way than if you just went to a coffee shop. On first dates, people are on their best behavior and if they're not, well, that tells you a lot about them too. Seeing what someone orders to drink is a great window into their personality. Do they order an extra-dry martini, and then grimace when they take a sip? Is it Bud Light, and Bud Light only? It's always impressive when someone has a signature cocktail – perhaps they specify the type of liquor, or add something new and surprising to a classic mixture. This will help you to get a sense of who they are as a person.

Our tip to you? Add salt to a Greyhound. It's a game changer.

BYBER Team πŸ˜‰

Photo: Solids or Stripes? by Johnny Silvercloud licensed under Creative commons 5