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Why dating is scary and why you should do it anyway

For some, the idea of dating is terrifying. Given the choice between skydiving over the Himalayas without a parachute and having dinner with a potential romantic partner, they'll gladly jump out of a perfectly good airplane without a second thought.

The primary reason dating is scary is because rejection is scary. The idea of being evaluated by someone you don't know and coming up short can end in debilitating fear and a compulsion to take no action at all. At its core, this fear effectively stops people from dating by quietly whispering this lie in their ear: "If a potential partner doesn't accept you, it's probably for a good reason. There's something wrong with you. You're not worthy of love."

The good news is that this lie is, well, a lie. There is one nugget of truth in it, though. What is true is that you're not going to be everyone's cup of tea. To get to the more valuable truth, you've got to drill down. Drilling down further into that truth, you'll discover the fact just because you're not everyone's cup of tea doesn't mean that you're not someone's cup of tea. And very tasty tea, at that. 

Instead of looking at potential rejection as a statement on your worthiness, look at it as a statement on human diversity. We're all different. We're all attracted to different constellations of qualities in a potential partner. In the same way that you're not attracted to every person you meet, not every person you meet will be attracted to you, either.

Once you start looking at "rejection" as a statement on human diversity rather than a statement on your value as a human being, the idea of dating becomes a bit less daunting. Further, once you make that leap and start dating despite some lingering fears around rejection, those fears will slowly but surely dissipate.

So next time you're faced with the (admittedly unlikely) choice between skydiving and having dinner with a potential romantic partner, why not join BYBER? An easy-to-use app, it takes some of the fear away from dating, and after you've had dinner and a great evening with your new date, invite them on a skydiving adventure you can enjoy together!

BYBER Team ๐Ÿ˜‰

Photo by Tanja Heffner on Unsplash

Signs they're not really into you

We've all been thereโ€ฆ You're dating someone you really like but they don't reply to your messages, they break off plans and won't commit to anything serious. You might have ignored the cracks because you really like them, but do you really want to waste your time on someone who, let's face it, just isn't really into you? Take a look at the following warning signs, and remember that if you've been on the receiving end of any of these, there are so many other people to meet out there โ€“ just see for yourself with BYBER.

They take ages to respond to your messages

You can't understand how it takes them so long to reply to your message when you've been waiting by the phone for days, only to get a lame โ€œSorry, I forgotโ€. Perhaps they've been busy? Maybe they've had a lot of work to do? Or maybe they just aren't interested.

Arranging concrete plans is practically impossible

It always seems to be you asking when they're available for the next date, and you're met with reason after reason why they just can't make it. From a doctor's appointment to their gran's funeral, you've probably heard every excuse in the book.

And when plans are actually made, they cancel last minute

You've probably spent all day, no, all week thinking about the next time you get to see them, only to receive a lame message saying they can't make tonight because it's their friend's birthday. Better put that new outfit back in your wardrobe.

They won't commit to anything serious

You've already planned your entire wedding day in your head, but they won't even agree to meet your family or friends, never mind sit down and discuss exclusivity. How much longer can you listen to โ€œI'm just not ready yetโ€?

They look for any excuse to bring their ex into the conversation

โ€œMy ex and I used to come here,โ€ โ€œMy ex had brown hair,โ€ โ€œMy ex loved that type of cereal.โ€ You might have learned more about their ex than you have about them! If they're constantly thinking about someone else, then (harsh as it sounds) they're probably not thinking about you.

Find someone who looks forward to hanging out with you as much as you do with them on BYBER, the brand-new dating app.

BYBER Team ๐Ÿ˜‰

Photo: Couple by mrhayata licensed under Creative commons 5

How dating can help you heal after an ugly divorce

Divorce isn't pretty. Few endings are. For some, though, divorce is a particularly ugly process that leaves you feeling vulnerable, afraid, and reluctant to ever start dating again. Protecting yourself from further pain is important and understandable. But as it is with many other important aspects of life, leaning too far in one direction ultimately does you more harm than good. Experimenting with dating again, when you're ready, can have a number of benefits that can actually help you move forward after a difficult parting.

Rebuilding trust

For a lot of people in the post-divorce phase, their level of trust has taken a severe beating. Casual dating with minimal commitment is one way to rebuild that trust in your fellow human beings. When you start trusting your dating partners, even a little, it can go a long way towards helping you heal. Start slow and easy with low-pressure dating situations. Give yourself some time to rebuild your willingness to trust potential, long-term romantic partners.

Re-learning your own value

Dating gives you an opportunity to see yourself as valuable from a relationship perspective. When you see that your date not only shows up, but has put some effort into looking good, being on time, and being a great companion, you begin to see yourself as valuable again. If your self-esteem took a hit with the divorce, this can be incredibly helpful. Seeing yourself as valued and valuable is a crucial component of the healing process.

Renewing a sense of hope

Feeling hopeless or helpless after a divorce is relatively common. You may believe that your life is over (e.g., that you're no one without a partner) or that no one else could possibly take the place of your ex. You can combat those faulty beliefs and fears by getting your feet wet again in the dating scene. The simple act of having an easy dinner or drink or dancing with a companion can leave you with a renewed perspective based on the hope (and reality) that you can build a happy, healthy life despite a rocky divorce.

Deciding when you're ready to date after a divorce can be tricky, but it is important to give yourself that opportunity --preferably sooner rather than later. By doing so, you help yourself heal from those difficult, post-divorce feelings. Starting to date again will help you by re-building trust in romantic partners, re-learning your own value, and renewing your sense of hope for a meaningful, enjoyable future. Join BYBER to start enjoying dating once again.

BYBER Team ๐Ÿ˜‰

Photo: Messy divorce by quinn.anya licensed under Creative commons 5

How to keep your sanity when you don't like your date

When you jump back into the dating scene with the BYBER app after the end of a long relationship (or a long dry spell), you may need to polish your profile a time or two before you land the perfect partner. Plus, if you're out of practice, it's easy to say yes too quickly to the wrong person. Take note of the following tips to keep yourself on track when you're on one of "those" dates.

1. We're all anxious to make a great impression, but stay true to your normal look unless youโ€™re a pro mud wrestler. Love your tattoos? Don't hide them. If you hide your sleeves with well, actual sleeves, you're committing a lie of omission, and you'll only feel more anxious.

2. If you make an instant judgment about your date, good or bad, acknowledge it (internally only, please), then set it aside. Reopen your mind for a few minutes so you can make an informed decision about this new person's potential. After all, this odd-looking guy or gal with an extra pinkie might be your soul mate.

3. Expect your date to be as nervous as you are. Donโ€™t judge harshly if he dribbles gravy down his chin or if she nearly chokes on a sip of water. Nerves rob even the calmest person of coordination sometimes.

4. Have the courage to say no to an ongoing relationship. When you realize you don't have enough in common to become caring partners, be up front and say so. Too many of us end a first meeting with the promise to talk again. It seems like a small thing, but what if the unwanted loved one pesters you with calls? Do you tell polite lies until youโ€™re standing at the altar? It's your life, not a Seinfeld episode.

5. Feel great about yourself, regardless of how the date goes. Even if that special click is missing, you can relax and enjoy meeting someone new. At worst, you've found a new dating story to tell your friends. The next time you open BYBER you could find THE ONE.

BYBER Team ๐Ÿ˜‰

Photo: DSC08952 by ccbarr licensed under Creative commons 5

The biggest mistakes you're making on online dating sites

Online dating sites are constantly evolving, offering new and better ways for people to make new connections, but are we sabotaging our own efforts? For some, the answer is yes and a look at some of the most common errors for both men and women may reveal that you are your own worst enemy.

Ladies - this is where you're going wrong

A picture is worth a thousand words and, when it comes to online dating, your picture is the first thing prospective dates will see. Whether you're using a dating app like Byber, or another type of online dating service, singles looking for a date are going to scroll through the pictures first and a simple headshot just isn't going to cut it. Give a good impression of who you are with a full-length shot, which can set the scene of where you like to hang out and your style. 

When it comes to selfies, too much of a good thing can send prospective dates running in the opposite direction, as well. Dozens of selfies may make it seem as though you're a little too interested in yourself. Also, dating experts advise limiting the cleavage shots. While, clearly, men do like the female form, most are looking for something more. They want a taste of your character, your quirks, or even just your smile. Don't be afraid to let your personality rise above your physique.

Finally, don't dwell on what you want in a mate. Instead, focus on who you are and those things that make you happy. This is your chance to talk about yourself.

Guys - you could do with some changes, too

For men, the ladies searching online dating sites aren't as put off by your pictures as they are by your words so stay away from cliches and sleazy talk. For instance, the "laid back guy" description is overused and, honestly, unattractive to prospective dates. Let her learn whether this is true through your actions and what kinds of activities and hobbies you enjoy - from hanging out with your niece to playing sports.

Lying. While both genders are guilty of doing this, it's never a good idea. Saying you're taller, thinner, etc. than you really are isn't doing anyone any favors. The truth will be found out so instead focus on amplifying the positives.

Lastly, avoid sharing too much in your profile. Honesty is good, but not in great detail. Revealing childhood traumas or dating disasters online can damage your reputation and send the message that you lack good judgment. It also suggests you're unable to keep a secret.

BYBER Team ๐Ÿ˜‰

How to increase your chances of finding dates online

Asking friends and family, going out to bars, and posting personals in newspapers are all outdated ways of dating. With the recent, widespread proliferation of technology, many hopefuls have opted for online dating rather than its traditional, unarguably outdated counterparts. 

Desktop platforms and mobile dating apps alike feature a number of benefits that traditional forms aren't associated with. Mobile apps can be accessed anywhere. The smartphone's unique ability to be easily transported wherever people go is great for location features on dating apps. Some apps show whenever you cross paths with people who have profiles on those apps. Others show how far away you are from other singles, helping you select one that doesn't live miles and miles away.

Your online dating profile is the first thing people see on mobile apps and desktop interfaces alike. First impressions mean a lot, so it's important to have a convincing dating profile. Let's look at several ways to beef up your online dating presence across various apps and interfaces. 

Utilize as many interfaces as possible

It's easy to understand that the wider net one casts, the more fish they're likely to catch. As such, hopeful singles should create profiles on each of the popular dating sites. Make sure to include a different profile picture on each one so other multi-application users won't recognize you as being on every dating program possible. If you do create many profiles, which you should, make sure to put equal amounts of effort into all of them to draw in as many dates as possible.

Craft appealing personal statements

Everybody has seen on the internet people using Tinder to woo potential dates with clever wordplay. As such, spend time making a quality personal statement that encompasses your hobbies, career goals, and personality - and make sure you showcase yourself well!

Choose well-lit, quality photos

People who don't take good pictures don't look as attractive as they actually are to browsers online. As such, others are outstanding at capturing quality photographs, and they get more dates online than they would in person. One way to take quality pictures is to ensure they're well-lit and feature flattering angles. Also, make sure you're dressed up well.

BYBER Team ๐Ÿ˜‰

Photo: selfie by Sole Treadmill licensed under Creative commons 4

4 tips for creating a profile that represents who you are

Creating a dating profile can be tricky. You don't want to seem too aggressive or picky, but you also want to represent who you are so you minimize the number of fruitless dates you experience. 

Here are a few tips to help you create a profile that can help you meet people with potential:

1. Personal information

When entering personal information on your dating profile, you want to keep it fairly simple. Safety first: don't reveal any information that gives your exact location or other personal information that can allow people to track you. 

Entering your basic information is a must, for example, your age, line of work, education, hobbies and aspirations. Don't forget to disclose whether or not you smoke or drink. 

2. Which values matter most?

If your religious preferences are a priority and have weight when deciding your interest in an individual, it is important to include this in your profile. This is also important when it comes to other lifestyle defining issues. 

It is best to be up front with the things that matter most to you so you can have a productive experience.

3. Positive points

When entering your information, you want to give a positive appearance by highlighting the things that you have an interest in and that makes you happy. What do you enjoy doing in your spare time? Do you like volunteering or helping others? These are things you should focus on. 

Try not to discuss negative personal issues because it can be off-putting or attract the wrong type of people. Honesty is always the best policy. 

4. A picture's worth a thousand words

With honesty in mind, you should post a recent photo - people want to know what you look like now. It may be tempting to post your favorite photo from ten years ago, but that is misleading, and can create tension or disappointment on your first date. 

Put your best foot forward on your profile. Be honest, but don't include negative information about yourself, and try to keep it brief - you want to save something to discuss on your first date! 

If you are looking for a positive dating experience, you should give BYBER a try. 

BYBER Team ๐Ÿ˜‰

Photo: Online Dating by simmons.kevin4208 licensed under Creative commons 4

Why finding dates on mobile apps is easier than in person or on websites

We rely on technology in every minute of modern-day life for a variety of basic functions. Businesses use computers with inventory management systems to keep track of where products are flowing and when they need to order more. Schools utilize learning software to help their students learn more quickly and faster than ever before. Individuals looking for dates also use dating apps on smartphones to choose from a wide number of potential dates, sort through them with various criteria, and for an easier dating experience than trying to find interested singles in person.

Here are several ways that finding dates is easier on smartphones with mobile dating apps, rather than doing so in person, on your computer, through blind dates, and virtually every other possible method of meeting other singles.

Mobile apps are more convenient

Smartphones are seemingly in the hands of most people all day long, this is especially the case for the younger generation. Mobile apps can be accessed with a few taps, and loading instantly thanks to modern technology. As such, mobile dating apps are more convenient than computer programs, setting up blind dates days in advance, and trying to find dates at bars or clubs which can all become rather slow and tedious processes.

Apps allow you to pick and choose

Dating apps allow people to choose exactly who they get messages from. People can only get messages from those that they have mutually 'liked', which lowers the chances of you having to speak to individuals you're not interested in. This is a function that many online dating sites just haven't considered, which means singles on those sites often find themselves inundated with messages from people they'd never look twice at in the real world.

Mobile apps are straight to the point

Traditional dating websites are notorious for asking copious amounts of questions for their users to sign up. Even if they don't ask seemingly-endless lists of questions, dating sites' profiles are always longer than those of mobile apps. Through a mobile app, hopeful singles can search through more profiles than on dating sites, increasing the chance of them finding dates.

BYBER is a popular mobile dating app that singles all around the United States are using to hook up, date, and just hang out with new people. BYBER utilizes Google Maps to share locations of bars, clubs, and beaus, so as well as discovering great new people, you can also discover new places to hang out!

BYBER Team ๐Ÿ˜‰

Photo: The fading days of summer. by kennethkonica licensed under Creative commons 6

4 underrated aspects of online dating

While you don't have to search very hard to find an article running down online dating or bemoaning the good old days when it didn't exist, its enduring popularity and continuing evolution is a testament to how much the internet has become an inseparable part of our lives. With that in mind, here are 4 aspects of online dating that remain highly unappreciated.

It widens the potential dating pool

If you were to say 20 years ago that you could potentially date anyone in your city, your conversation partner would probably think that you were just speaking metaphorically. Online dating has turned that into a literal truth. With the innovation of dating websites and apps boasting nearly universal enrollment, the chances of finding the right person for you have multiplied astronomically.

It effectively screens out unsuitable partners

You know what your deal breakers are. Online dating gives you not only the ability to tactfully put these non-negotiable elements out front but compels you to do so. This honest and open declaration of what you expect from your partner is a much healthier way to begin a relationship than the uncomfortable shuffling of priorities that characterized dating in the past.

It puts dating back into your hands

While in the past decorum may have compelled you to grit your teeth and go out on a hopeless date just because a friend or relative set you up, the advent of online dating has given you the agency to determine your own dating strategy. When Aunt Petunia is adamant that you are perfect for her tennis partner's doctor, you can politely let her know that you already have plans thanks to online dating.

It makes dating fun again

It should come as no surprise that dating is stressful, and meeting a new person can be nerve-wracking. However, online dating has the benefit of giving you as much time as you need to speak online before making that fateful decision. With this added comfort, the first-date jitters and the question and answers sessions are often shelved in favor of skipping right to the fun.

Want to rediscover the freedom and joys of online dating for yourself try BYBER. 

BYBER Team ๐Ÿ˜‰

3 conversation topics you should always avoid on a first date

Things have been going really well with someone you've been talking to on BYBER, and now you've arranged that all-important first date. Great! It's natural that you're probably feeling nervous, but sometimes nerves can cause us to blurt things out that we would never normally say. The last thing you want to do is offend your date on your first ever get-together, so here are a few topics you should definitely avoid.

Negative comments about their appearance

Even if they look completely different to their online picture, their hairstyle doesn't look right or you can't understand why they've turned up wearing that hideous Hawaiian shirt, don't be tempted to drop any hints about your disapproval. Chances are your date has spent a long time in front of the mirror getting ready with the hope of impressing you, and you don't want to make them feel uncomfortable. Think about how offended you would be if they made any comments about how you look, and always keep their feelings in mind.

How much you're dying to get married and have kids

Even if you've been talking for a while online, it's best to keep to lighter topics on your first date, like favorite movies and music. They might seem like the person you've been waiting for your whole dating life, but coming on too strong too soon could scare them off, or make you seem slightly desperate. Just sit back, relax and enjoy getting to know someone without thinking too far into the future.

Details about their dating life

Try not to get too hung up about your date's dating life straightaway. Although you'll probably be curious to know how many dates they've been on recently, how many relationships they've been in or how long they've been single for, the truth may only make you worry, which will definitely put a downer on your date. Save those questions for later on, when you've got to know them a lot better and could perhaps see something long term progressing.

BYBER Team ๐Ÿ˜‰

Photo: Dating by simmons.kevin4208 licensed under Creative commons 4