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3 tips for sending a successful first message

So, you've fired up the Byber app and after perusing multiple profiles, you've found someone who seems great. They're fun, witty, and it looks like they have a great sense of humor, and the fact that they're attractive certainly doesn't hurt. Now it's time to send a message to get their attention, but you're drawing a blank. While this is no doubt at least a little distressing, not to worry. Even the most seasoned daters run into this issue. Here are three tips guaranteed to help break that dating writer's block and set the tone for a great first date.

Make sure you actually acknowledge the things you found interesting in their profile

This should go without saying, but at a time when dating can feel like applying for jobs, it's always helpful to remember to personalize your messages. While it can save time and at least give you a starting point to have a template or script to follow, it cannot be stressed enough to make sure to fully tailor your first message to the information in the other person's profile. Do they like corgis? Great, talk about that one time you made a corgi friend while running in the park. Not only does it show that you're taking a genuine interest in them, but it gives you a starting point for future conversations when you can pin down things that you both find interesting.

Keep it short

It may be tempting to lay it all out there on initial contact to let the other person know how awesome you are. While that is certainly one way to go, it definitely isn't the best. One of the most exciting things in starting a new relationship or dating someone new is learning new things at every encounter. Being extremely detailed when messaging, especially with the first one, can really rob you of the fun of gradually learning new things about your new date. On top of that, it can be overwhelming to be sent someone's memoir when you haven't even met face to face yet. Keep it short, keep it fun, keep it interesting.

Ask questions

Making sure to ask interesting questions that show off your sense of humor is a sure-fire way of increasing your chances of getting a great response to your initial message. Just a note, yes or no questions won't cut it here. Did they say something about that amazing trip they took last summer? That's a great opportunity to mention something interesting that you did and follow-up with a question about their trip (i.e. 'I saw that you went to Germany last summer. That's amazing! What were your favorite places to visit when you were there? I was there for Oktoberfest a couple of years ago, but coincidentally, I don't remember much.').

While there are many ways to make your initial message shine and show off the interesting, funny person that you are, these three tips are essential in helping to make sure that the recipient is no longer just a digital crush.

BYBER Team 😉

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