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Mastering the art of interviewing on your first date.

Well, for starters, this title is designed to make you think, and much of it is about what not to do. Dating is different from the idea of a date night as part of a committed relationship. In such a situation, you already have the wealth of knowledge and easy intimacy to carry out a natural conversation.

Not quite the same on a first date. You may have undertaken a little research, looking at the person's online profile. There you might find out about some of their likes and dislikes, have ideas about how they like to spend their time, and even what they don't want to do. 

Once you've met, you would hope to pick up more clues, ones that help you form that difficult first real conversation. This is where the slightly humorous title of our blog comes to the fore.

When you watch an interviewer on TV, say in a news program, many are asking questions from the political or ethical standpoint of their organization. They have a clear idea of what they want to achieve, the key areas and how questions will get their 'victim' to admit something, or come clean about something.

Not exactly the way you'd want a first date chat to progress! Questions such as: 'So you claim to enjoy Ed Sheeran's music?' or 'How often do you go on these booze-fuelled breaks with your buddies?' suggest distrust or disapproval. Never try to 'win' the conversation, just aim to hold one.

That's the key word - conversation. Both parties contribute. You may have heard that asking questions and letting the other person talk about themselves is a good way to go. Yes, but up to a limit. That's just before it becomes, however pleasant, an interrogation.

So, be a part of the talk, but equally, avoid falling into the trap of taking an answer, turning it round to your own experience, and then simply carrying on to talk for the rest of the date about yourself.

In fact, rather than an interview, which is really one-sided in gaining information, a better analogy might be a game of tennis. The conversation is a rally, in which both parties participate. Remember, though, it isn't about winning points, it's about ending with 'love all' rather than starting from that score.

If you are looking to achieve this, downloading the BYBER app is a great starting point.

BYBER Team 😉

Photo: discussion by gagilas licensed under Creative commons 5