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Why dating is scary and why you should do it anyway

For some, the idea of dating is terrifying. Given the choice between skydiving over the Himalayas without a parachute and having dinner with a potential romantic partner, they'll gladly jump out of a perfectly good airplane without a second thought.

The primary reason dating is scary is because rejection is scary. The idea of being evaluated by someone you don't know and coming up short can end in debilitating fear and a compulsion to take no action at all. At its core, this fear effectively stops people from dating by quietly whispering this lie in their ear: "If a potential partner doesn't accept you, it's probably for a good reason. There's something wrong with you. You're not worthy of love."

The good news is that this lie is, well, a lie. There is one nugget of truth in it, though. What is true is that you're not going to be everyone's cup of tea. To get to the more valuable truth, you've got to drill down. Drilling down further into that truth, you'll discover the fact just because you're not everyone's cup of tea doesn't mean that you're not someone's cup of tea. And very tasty tea, at that. 

Instead of looking at potential rejection as a statement on your worthiness, look at it as a statement on human diversity. We're all different. We're all attracted to different constellations of qualities in a potential partner. In the same way that you're not attracted to every person you meet, not every person you meet will be attracted to you, either.

Once you start looking at "rejection" as a statement on human diversity rather than a statement on your value as a human being, the idea of dating becomes a bit less daunting. Further, once you make that leap and start dating despite some lingering fears around rejection, those fears will slowly but surely dissipate.

So next time you're faced with the (admittedly unlikely) choice between skydiving and having dinner with a potential romantic partner, why not join BYBER? An easy-to-use app, it takes some of the fear away from dating, and after you've had dinner and a great evening with your new date, invite them on a skydiving adventure you can enjoy together!

BYBER Team 😉

Photo by Tanja Heffner on Unsplash